Promises, promises...

The fruit pastille you couldn't find, dropped after Tommy tickled you just then, at a party, or something, last year sometime, discovered again, now it's anchoring your face to the carpet, somehow your head is under the bed, one foot draped, casually almost, 'round a bed post.
Tasting dust hair grit lipstick powder and paint, is you is or is you ain't even properly alive just now, awake just now, can't be sure just now.

Now that one eye is open, it's hard to ignore what your spine has been screaming at you all night long, or for whatever part of the night you gave to sleep, it's a greater part of the morning anyway, maybe it's a great morning, you don't know, maybe you'll never walk straight again, you don't know, you think you might but you don't want to take that journey of discovery just yet.
One eye open, the other intimate with carpet pile, one eye open and inspecting the archaeology amassed under the bed, fantastic examples of items from the "second year renting this fire-trap" era.

Yellow hair pin with tiny white blossoms is stark and standout, lost in the first week, an hour of trashing the room, Margaret coming back from work, assuming burglary, her shriek indefinately postponing further excavation of furniture and belongings. A sisters gift, 14 years between you making it precious, her tears when you left home anointing it as holy relic, sanctified and now needful.
Unhooking your foot and twitching as your body pain spasms, a line fought fish twitching on the dry floor, stretching out a hand to grasp it, curling fingers about it.

Sitting on the bed, peeling the dusty sweet from your cheek and absent-mindedly returning it to its previous resting place, shakily moving again, towards the bathroom and the mirror, fixing the hairpin just to see it.
That's why you're sitting at the table now, breakfast back burnered, writing a letter that's 2 years overdue.

Let us never talk about this again

Doing chili leftovers today. Its usually better the on the second day

for 6 min. siden

tis yes, even spicier and the meat more tender

Annemarie

 •

for 6 min. siden

more tender, and it would be mosh.. 9 hours in the slow cooker makes it really tenderr

for 5 min. siden

tenderrrrrr

Annemarie

 •

for 4 min. siden

Yes, its tender, but in a gay german way

for 4 min. siden

that's mildly disturbing.

Annemarie

 •

for 2 min. siden

Lets not talk about it again!

for 2 min. siden

heheh, we'll have to start making a list.

Annemarie

 •

for 2 min. siden

good idea.. on the blog

for 1 min. siden

heheh

1. Slow cooked spiced meat being tender, in a gay german way.

Grong! It's just Grong!

Innini: Hehe, the person to the right:

Annemarie: what is so special about big boobied bimbos in SL, am I missing something?

Innini: Just the proportions horribly grong

Annemarie: grong!

Innini: Wrong

Annemarie: what a perfect word. no no. its grong

Innini: We should apply a meaning to the word.. "Meaning of Liff"-style. Grong: The tendency to overfocus on a specific part of the body, and inability to design it in proportions to any other body part. Also, Ctrl-T will reveal a huge cock

Annemarie: Grong: The results following the abuse of av appearence sliders and gratuitous attachements producing grossly disproportionate body shapes, generally focused around bust and hips.

Innini: And Ass.. Dont forget the ass.

Annemarie: Note: cntrl-t will often reveal a similarly disproportionate pee-nor

Innini: Would you say that the ass is part of the hips? or a separate body part?

Annemarie: I was being delicate.

Innini: oh, that suits you! :)

Annemarie: Well of course, I....wait a minute, is that sarcasm?!?

The mysteries of IM's revealed! Part the first.

Just what do they talk about, when they are stood there for ages at a time? Are they trading tawdry IM's? are they asleep? are they discussing you perhaps?  Read on, and all shall be revealed...


Innini: Pompous cat: :

Annemarie: "I'm sitting on an exquisitely carved and inlaid late austro-hungarian empire cabinet with a rare painted wood cutting as my background, you are standing up bending over squinting through a small metal box"

Innini: haha.. fucking cat.

Annemarie: "I can has teh neo-gothic cabinet?"

Innini: You can has. I has teh hungry.

Annemarie: I had has teh smoked ham.

Innini: I am making an omelette for dinner, onions, ham, cheese, lots of tabasco.

Annemarie: That's a good omelette. Hmm, now...interesting question....

Innini: Is listening...

Annemarie: Do you like your omelettes cooked so that they are browned on one side or two, or at all?

Innini: Well that is certainly an interesting question. I do like them browned on both sides. Not burned obviously, but when you use cheese in it, the slightly browned surface will make the cheese taste better. Now, I will use three eggs in the omelette, and it will of course fill the entire pan. Turning it in one piece has proven too hard for my limited skills. Trying that will only result in a broken and horribly fucked up omelette that is displeasing to the eye. I therefore lower the heat and let it simmer on one side until the top is starting to solidify. I then gently fold it in two.

Annemarie: * Applause*

Innini: (Yes, I present myself with a medal before eating it) lol.

Annemarie: See above for accompanying applause.
We are omelette compatible. This is a milestone in the development of our relationship.

Innini: Phew.. those things are make or break situations.

Annemarie: Anything to do with eggs usually is. See what I did there?

Innini: lol, I saw it just now.

The Innini Chronicles - Part 2

[14:40] Amy: hi again

[14:40] Innini: hello

[14:41] Amy: how are you?

[14:41] Innini: I am doing great. you?

[14:42] Amy: oh i am fine too

[14:43] Amy: you look so mysterius

[14:43] Innini: I am like an open book

[14:45] Amy: lol really?

[14:45] Innini: Yes, I am almost not mysterious at all

[14:46] Amy blushes

[14:47] Amy: can i ask you something ?

[14:47] Innini: of course

[14:48] Amy: do you like girls?

[14:48] Innini: Do you mean for eating?

[14:49] Amy grins

[14:49] Amy: i hope nor

[14:49] Amy: not

[14:49] Innini: I get a little confused sometimes

[14:50] Amy: to play with , or to have fun with so to speak

[14:51] Innini: I took a girl with my on my boat once. That was fun. Then she fell into the water and I never saw her again

[14:54] Amy: what an awfull story

[14:54] Innini: It wasnt so bad, she didnt dent the boat or anything

______________________________________________________________

[21:52] Taylor: I see you like black!

[21:52] Innini: yes i do

[21:53] Taylor: That's good news.

[21:53] Innini: it is?

[21:54] Taylor: I would say so, I could add to that outfit for sure.

[21:57] Innini: *Looks at you* Hmm, I do think you are right. Good height, broad build. No tattoos as far as I can tell. That skin can look absolutely awesome on me. I have someone who does all the leather-work for me, he is a master craftman. Now, if you would follow me to my shed. Are there any you wish to say goodbye to before we go?

[21:58] Taylor: No.

[22:00] Taylor: No thanks, then.

[22:00] Innini: Oh, your skin will be mine.. when you least expect it

[22:01] Taylor: lol, maybe.  Then again I may just take you.

[22:01] Innini: Laughs.. that is not very likely

_____________________________________________________

(Note: MrsEnid is my old lady alt.. She is at least 90 years old. In wheelchair. Always drunk. This took place at the Gor-hub)

[08:12] MrsEnid: Hello... I am looking for a nice gorean tribe. I prefer a tribe that is bad at fighting, because I would like to get captured a lot. I have not had a man since my husband died 23 years ago. My legs are weak, so I will fairly easy to capture.
[08:13] Shelly (asia.chun): o.O
[08:13] Elef (elefeneder.footpad): bellows out a laugh
[08:13] Shelly (asia.chun): that's different
[08:13] FeatherSoft (softfeather): turns and smiles
[08:13] FeatherSoft (softfeather): as the Master laughs hearitly
[08:13] Elef (elefeneder.footpad): honest though
[08:14] MrsEnid: I got a new leather bikini, and as soon as i am done with this drink, i will put it on
[08:14] JayJay (jayden.kalchek): dies laughing
[08:15] MrsEnid: I have one request though.. The tribe must not have any staircases. I am willing to drop that requirement, if the tribe are willing to carry me up the stairs. no fondling though.
[08:15] MrsEnid: ok, fondling is permitted
[08:15] Shelly (asia.chun): do ropes that you must climb count?
[08:16] MrsEnid: I have incredibly strong arms from wheeling around in this thing
[08:16] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): lmao
[08:16] MrsEnid: I hear good things about the zima.. any zimas here?
[08:16] Shelly (asia.chun): sounds like a refreshing beverage
[08:17] John Castle (johncastle): That's what I was thiinking...
[08:17] JayJay (jayden.kalchek): you are sooo sexy MrsEnid!
[08:17] John Castle (johncastle): Well, aside from the 'refreshing' part. :P
[08:17] JayJay (jayden.kalchek): mmhmm
[08:17] MrsEnid: oh.. regarding beverages.. please stop the nonsense.. it is coffee.. not "blackwine"
[08:17] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): i am not sure about that but i am itching for a fight hopefully turia are not as silk dressed sleens as i hear :P
[08:17] MrsEnid: I had a sleen once, but it ate 12 of my cats
[08:18] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): hahha
[08:18] JayJay (jayden.kalchek): omgaaaa
[08:18] JayJay (jayden.kalchek): hahaa
[08:18] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): i rather try to have a pet Kur than a sleen they stink
[08:18] MrsEnid: I dont like to talk too much about this, but my breasts are sagging so much, that i dont really use the bikini top. I just stuff them into the panties
[08:20] MrsEnid: Hello Mr Thor.. So what do you say? I think I can be a valuable addition to your flock.. i mean, tribe
[08:20] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): snorts....."flock....." gigglesnorts
[08:21] MrsEnid: I can drink any enemy under the table
[08:22] MrsEnid: young lady, walking around with no panties is a sure way to have a yeast infection.. trust me, i know
[08:22] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): ((*facepalms**))
[08:22] John Castle (johncastle): I always thought the sure way for a girl to get a yeast infection was to use her hoo-ha for a lunchbox.
[08:23] John Castle (johncastle): No! The sammich does not GO in there!
[08:23] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc): doubles over laughing
[08:23] FeatherSoft (softfeather): sighs
[08:23] MrsEnid: yes, but once the men gets a taste of it, its no stopping them.. would you like a taste? just pick off the crusts
[08:23] JayJay (jayden.kalchek) examin herself... looking for her erhm... hoo-ha
[08:24] John Castle (johncastle): Tastes like chicken! Smells like fish!
[08:24] MrsEnid: I have not used my vagina for sex since Carter was president
[08:24] John Castle (johncastle): Aaaaaaaanyway...
[08:26] MrsEnid: did you put all your clothes in your packpack, young lady?
[08:26] Garik Darkwings (shaddoc) exclaims "HIDE FROMME WILL YE WOMAN!"
[08:27] MrsEnid: Yay!! I will hide, and you fill find me and capture me!!! This will be so much fun!!

Abstract Photography

The Fish Press is supporting... no obsessed.. with all sorts of creativity, not only the written word. It is therefore only natural that we publish photography on this very fine blog.

Innini went full retard and bought not only one, but two great cameras during the pre-holidays. I would like to share some results here. This time, I am focusing on the abstract and on the self-replicating patterns in nature. Mostly, anyway.

Enjoy, and comment if you like.

These shots are done with my Canon EOS 70D + 105mm macro lens

Motive: Flowers covered in frost

 These shots are done with my Canon EOS 70D + 18-135mm lens

Motive: The ice-covered lake

These shots are done with my Fujifilm X100S

Motive: Gritty Grafitti

NSA trawling Second Life

Yes, it seems to be true. It was all over the interwebs yesterday, so it must be true. The NSA.. the analysts.. the PhDs.. the people who sort of just drifted into a government job and had the sense to cling on to their chars.. They are in Second Life.

Your secrets are no longer safe. They know that you stole those dances. They know that you have no order whatsoever in your inventory, and that the reason why you go silent for long periods is because you are trying to find that nice hair you bought before christmas 2009. They know that you are NOT engaged in steamy IMs with neko girls and lycans with golden wings. They know that you are just standing there, trying to come up with something funny to say.

So who are they... these agents of secrecy? Do they walk among us? That time when you heard a camera click... was it them? How can you tell? They are PhDs, trained to blend in... to become one of us. Observing... Writing you up.

To spot the NSA, look for the following:

1. They are highly educated and trained. We know that your first impulse is to wear a false mustache and a trenchcoat. The NSA will not do that, so look for anyone not wearing spy-gear.
2. They will wear something similar so they will recognize each other. (NSA spying on NSA is simply bad for the budget. Despite what you might have heard, they will not print their own money. Not even the NSA can fuck with the IRS). Look for people with no AO, phat ass appliers or whip marks on their chests. 
3. Do you have any friends that are overly interested in you? Keep in mind that most of your time, you are just standing there, trying to think of anything to say. You aren't really that interesting. Do you have any friends that always IMs you, asking how you feel and what you are doing? Congratulations... you just found the NSA

If you think you are being watched, here is what you can do:

1. Disorganise your inventory. Put the hair in the "jeans" folder and your bdsm gear in the "dances I stole" folder. This will slow them down.
2. Do not just stand there. If you have nothing to say, paste in random lines from the news or from a book you like. It will also make you more interesting to other people.
3. Start asking others a lot of questions. Eventually, you will hit another NSA analyst, and they will automatically assume you are NSA, and remove you from the watch list
4. Wear everything you can think of, all at once, to signal to fellow analysts that you are one of them.

Good luck!

International Woman Of Mystery (Innini mix) by Innini on Mixcloud

Music we fancy - Utopia

It's a strange day
No colours or shapes
No sound in my head
I forget who I am
When I'm with you
There's no reason
There's no sense
I'm not supposed to feel
I forget who I am
I forget

Fascist baby
Utopia, utopia

My dog needs new ears
Make his eyes see forever
Make him live like me
Again and again

Fascist baby
Utopia, utopia

I'm wired to the world
That's how I know everything
I'm super brain
That's how they made me

Fascist baby
Utopia, utopia

An open letter to the American Psychology Association

Dear American Psychology Association

We have waited, patiently, for a response to our important paper.
We know, oh my how we know, of the work load involved in doing important science, as we ourselves are scientists. But to not get so much as an acknowledgment is, frankly, a slight to our reputation. Which, I assure you, is of the very finest.

We would ask you to consider the seething hordes of furrys and associated travellers who, in between frenzied bouts of yiffing, are asking themselves some pretty searching questions. "Where did I leave my neko ears", "why do the dry cleaners look at me that way when I bring my fox suit to them" and "how long can I leave this tail in place before I get toxic shock".

Our important paper answers none of those questions, but it does answer others. Mostly questions that we posed ourselves, to better suit our hypothesis. But you already knew that, and silently approved, we know this.

So, we are sure that you will be back to us forthwith, and look forward to talking about science with you, our fellow science people.

Yours in Science
Dr's Innini & Breen.

The Innini Chronicles - Part 1

Over time, I have saved a few conversations. Might as well share them here. Enjoy. Or hate. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.

Just read, will you?

[10:50]  Sabrina: Hi. Cute profile. I like cookies tooo.

[10:50]  Innini Resident: lol. everybode likes cookies :)

[10:51]  Sabrina: I need someone like you to be my mommy.

[10:53]  Innini Resident: I am a terrible mommy. I always forget where i put my kids. There are probably hundreds of dried little carcases lying around in cupboards and under beds

[10:53]  Sabrina: oooooooooo you are wicked. just my type of mommy.

[10:54]  Innini Resident: unless you want to be a dried up carcass, I am probably not your type :)

[10:55]  Sabrina: will i look like a prune?

[10:55]  Innini Resident: yes, only not so soft as a prune

[10:55]  Sabrina: awwwww

-----------------------------------------------

I noticed a woman with a demo skin and a tag that said : Call Of Cthulhu Clan

This is what happened :)

[01:27]  Innini Resident: Did Cthulhu go ahead and make another clan now? I told him that he was not allowed. There will be a talk when he comes home

[01:30]  VampireGirl: excuse me, who are you?

[01:30]  Innini Resident: What? Did he not mention me? He always does that

[01:31]  Innini Resident: Lets just say that he has special needs. I wont go as far as to say that he is retarded, but yes, he need assistance

[01:32]  VampireGirl: and who excatly are you referring to?

[01:32]  Innini Resident: Cthulhu of course

[01:32]  Innini Resident: Head of your clan

[01:33]  Innini Resident: Do you know his whereabouts? He left without taking some of his medication

[01:33]  VampireGirl: who the hell are you talking about? i dont even know you

[01:34]  Innini Resident: Are you not member of the Call of Cthulhu Clan?

[01:34]  VampireGirl: and if i am, what is to you?

[01:35]  VampireGirl: or do you randomly insult people?

[01:35]  Innini Resident: I am merely concerned about his health. He has not been well lately, and to be honest, he is not allowed to make any more clans.  Sigh.. it always end in disaster

[01:36]  VampireGirl: give a nme pls

[01:36]  VampireGirl: name*

[01:36]  VampireGirl: you will be talking in riddles if you dont give a name

[01:36]  Innini Resident: Cthulhu.. We are talking about Cthulhu

[01:37]  Innini Resident: Any way you can put me in contact with him?

[01:38]  VampireGirl: Cthulhu is the name of our clan, yes....but our founder is not of the same name

[01:38]  VampireGirl: though the clan's name is inspired by one of his favorite novels by Lovecraft

[01:40]  Innini Resident: Yes, the one about Chutie, I know. You dont have to hide him you know. Regardless of what he says himself, he really need to come home, take his medication and just relax a bit. He need his support element, if you know what I mean

[01:40]  VampireGirl: im sorry to say, miss, but there is noone of the name Cthulhu is i our clan

[01:40]  VampireGirl: in*

[01:41]  Innini Resident: Oh dear.. do we have to go through all this?

[01:41]  VampireGirl: sure, go ahead

[01:41]  VampireGirl: i have nothing to hide

[01:41]  Innini Resident: I could get him extracted against everyones will, but I think its best if we just play along nicely

[01:42]  VampireGirl: there's nothing to extract from me

[01:42]  VampireGirl: i am a vampire

[01:42]  Innini Resident: No, I understand that he is too big for you to conceal on your body.

[01:42]  Innini Resident: Is it vampire or zombies that does the brain thing?

[01:42]  VampireGirl: brain?

[01:43]  VampireGirl: no we dont do brain things

[01:43]  VampireGirl: excuse me, but if there's nothing else, i'll be going

[01:43]  Innini Resident: No, that was becoming apparent

[01:43]  VampireGirl: yeah, and its apparent you need your medications too, hun

[01:43]  Innini Resident: Have a nice and bitey day. If you see Chuthie, tell him to be home at once!

[01:44]  VampireGirl: if you see your psychiatrist, pls say hi for me

[01:44]  VampireGirl: good day

-----------------------------------------------

I saw a huge minoteur on a beach for SL teens/kids. 

[12:02]  Innini Resident: you are ONE cute doggy!!! :)

[12:03]  Minoteur: doggy

[12:03]  Minoteur: ?

[12:03]  Innini Resident: Come closer so i can pet you

[12:03]  Minoteur: lol

[12:04]  Innini Resident: I am near the fire.. dont be scared.. come closer

[12:04]  Minoteur: i am busy find a real dog

[12:04]  Minoteur: lol

[12:04]  Innini Resident: that even cuter.. he thinks he is not a doggy :)

[12:09]  Minoteur: are you so dumb to think that u can overcome ur low self esteem, by calling me a doggy, when clearly I am a different animal, or u just say that crap to everyone taller than u that makes u feel little

[12:09]  Minoteur: lol

[12:10]  Minoteur: thats not cute

[12:10]  Minoteur: thats a pity

[12:10]  Minoteur: lol

[12:10]  Innini Resident: aww.. so hostile.. and i who had decided to wait a bit before i neutred you

[12:10]  Minoteur: I am hostile, I am sarcastic

[12:10]  Minoteur: lol

[12:11]  Minoteur: u moron

[12:11]  Innini Resident: try not saying "lol" all the time.. it kinda ruins the effect

[12:11]  Minoteur: thats the stupidest rp ever

[12:11]  Minoteur: and btw

[12:12]  Minoteur: I am not trying to achieve any effect

[12:12]  Minoteur: I just want u to stop bothering me

[12:12]  Innini Resident: that is VERY funny.. did you think this was rp? dear god..

[12:12]  Minoteur: cuz obviosly I am not interested

[12:12]  Innini Resident: you must be playing in gor, they have a terrible taste for rp

[12:12]  Minoteur: ok

[12:12]  Minoteur: good

[12:12]  Minoteur: go rp with someone u like

[12:13]  Minoteur: i dont really care

[12:13]  Innini Resident: of course you care. this conversation is proof of that. silly dog

[12:18]  Minoteur: i am just curious, in what twisted way y are fucked up

[12:19]  Minoteur: cuz u are one of a kind, u are special, as the psychiatrist will tell you

[12:19]  Minoteur: lol

[12:20]  Minoteur: dont worry I think there is someone fucked up just like u, so u can feel normal

[12:20]  Minoteur: lol

[12:20]  Minoteur: when u are with him her

[12:20]  Minoteur: lol

[12:20]  Innini Resident: You are curious because you are a little dog who crave my attention. nothing more, or less. and do stop with the "lol". it is as out of character as you at this beach

[12:20]  Minoteur: who cares

[12:20]  Minoteur: well

[12:21]  Minoteur: I have the attention of 3 other women, right now,  but I am not calling them fucked up,

[12:22]  Innini Resident: That is amazing. truly. and still you are here, seeking my attention. Tell you what, come here and kneel to me, then i will pet you and forgive you this sillyness

[12:23]  Minoteur: that is amaizing, I said that I am just curious, and still u manage to twisted that somehow u are under control

[12:23]  Minoteur: lol

[12:23]  Minoteur: ur brain jjust choses to ignores

[12:23]  Minoteur: some stuff

[12:24]  Minoteur: doestn it

[12:24]  Minoteur: lol

[12:24]  Minoteur: I dont know even where are u and what u look like

[12:24]  Minoteur: are u male or female?

[12:24]  Innini Resident: so its true? dogs cant look up?

[12:25]  Minoteur: u should find a talking dog and ask it

[12:25]  Minoteur: lol

[12:25]  Minoteur: cant help u

[12:26]  Innini Resident: Denial is very hard to overcome. But you can do it with the proper motivation

[12:26]  Minoteur: well u can call me a horse too, but still I am gonna be bull for everyone else beside u

[12:26]  Minoteur: lol

[12:27]  Innini Resident: you can be a bulldog or a poodle. matters little to me as long as you kneel to me

[12:27]  Innini Resident: you know you want to

[12:28]  Minoteur: well apparently I am not kneeling before u

[12:28]  Minoteur: lol

[12:28]  Minoteur: neither I am a dog

[12:28]  Minoteur: so u are just delusional

[12:28]  Innini Resident: are those "lol"s the equivalent of nervous ticks?

[12:28]  Innini Resident: are you scared?

[12:29]  Minoteur: its just sarcasm, are u familiar with the concept?

[12:29]  Minoteur: lol

[12:29]  Innini Resident: Yes, I invented it. I didnt add many "lol"s to it though

An investigation into the prevalence, causes and effects of totemic animal identification and species dysphoria

We feel this most important paper should be readily available to all, so to that end, we are posting it here on our blog. I'm sure you will return to it again and again, each time discovering a new insight, each time drawing fresh inspiration from this briming well of pure science.

An investigation into the prevalence, causes and effects of totemic animal identification and species dysphoria

Music that takes our fancy...

Now and then we will offer up a link to music we like, and today my head is full of this song. Caution, addictive... Hozier, Take me to Church.

The Siren Sings To Ingrid

One of the nice things about knowing people who are creative, is being able to steal ideas from them.

Almost as much fun, is coming up with an idea resulting from a silly conversation.

Innini and I set each other a sort of challange. To write a story, but that it had to pertain, roughly, to Halloween.

It had to be set in Norway, had to incorporate the fishing industry, and it had to have a mermaid in there somewhere.

Easy peasy!

We didn't quite meet the Halloween deadline obviously, but that wasn't important.

What was interesting, was the different style and approach used.

My story, is fiction, and written with a particular cadence of speech and thought that differs very much from my own.

Innini's story, about which she will explain a little more in her post, is true, in that everything that happens, actually did happen.

And, it's written in a nice, flowing natural style.

But why don't you make up your own mind, and read our stories for yourself?

Diary of Ingrid Engelstad, Fisheries officer, Narvik office.

My name is Ingrid Engelstad, and this is my diary.

I have never kept a diary before, so, this is new.

I think I will try and write in it as often as I can, perhaps not every day, because that may not be possible.

And, sometimes I will forget, I sometimes forget about new things, until something reminds me.

September 3rd, Tuesday 

I live in Narvik, but I am not from here. I was born on a farm near Borkenes.

When I was 10 my parents were in a car accident, and they died. My uncle took over our farm.

I did not like my uncle, so, I left to come live with my second cousins here in Narvik, when I was 13.

I have been here ever since. I like living here, most of the time. I am married but I do not have any children, I do not think we will have any now.

My older brother still lives on the farm, and a few years ago he made my uncle leave. It caused a lot of trouble, and I was happy I was not involved.

My brother was angry when I did not help him, and now he does not talk to me.

That is a shame, as I miss him and I miss going to the farm to visit.

September 12th, Thursday

Today I went out with Elisabeth. I work with her sometimes, and get on well with her, she is a friend. I am her supervisor but, we don't work like that really.

We spent the day doing the count on the Lakselv river, it was a bit boring but Elisabeth makes me laugh with her funny comments, so I didn't mind too much.

Some Sundays I ask her to come to dinner, and I am always glad when she does. We enjoy her company.

September 14th, Saturday 

I am tired today. I did not sleep well, because of my nightmares, which I sometimes have. They can make me upset, and it takes a while to relax again so I can go back to sleep. Sometimes I just can't, and I have to get up.

My husband gets upset too, he says it scares him. I wish I could stop having the nightmares but, they just happen. Nobody can control what they dream about. The nightmares are usually all about the same thing. I am in the car with my parents and the truck hits us. I was hurt but not too much, my parents were though. I think my father died straight away, but I know my Mother did not. I hate having those dreams.

September 23rd, Monday 

Something strange happened today. I was taking samples at the shore, near Beisfjord, and I think I saw something. I'm not sure what it was, it looked like a seal of some sort, but it was unusual. I tried to take a picture but it was gone by the time I was ready.

I felt very tired all of a sudden, and had to sit down on the sand. I sat there for a while, I was daydreaming I think, I thought I heard something too.
Maybe I've been working out here alone for too long haha! If Elisabeth was there she would have made fun of me I know. So, I don't think I'll mention it to her.

October 11th, Friday 

It has been a difficult week, and I'm glad it's over. This is a very busy time of year for me, and I have to meet twice a week with the off-shore people.

That can be hard, because they have a bad attitude, or at least I think so. But it has to be done so I do the best I can.

By right, my manager should do this, he is the liaison officer. I think they get me to do it because I am patient and do not get frustrated.

Maybe I don't show it, but I think I get as frustrated as anyone else.

I was late home this evening, I thought I would go out to Beisfjord before I finished up. I was there a while, until it became to dark to do anything.

I did not see anything this time. But I did hear that sound again, and I stayed listening for, maybe an hour. It is hard to describe the sound, a sort of keening but in ways it sounds like music, a song, a nice song. I wish I knew where it came from, I think I must find out if I can.

I thought my husband would be annoyed that I was so late but he was not, thankfully.

October 17th, Friday 

I have had nightmares every night this week. It has been difficult, I am very tired and my husband is sleeping in the other bedroom now.

I find this very upsetting. When I wake up from the bad dreams, I am alone, and it feels even worse.

I have been in the office doing the quarterly logs and reports, it is taking up all my time, and I have not been out. I miss that, it's the part of the job I like best. Elisabeth should be helping me but she has work going on at her home so she has to leave a little early most days, while I have to stay late.

I cover for her, as best I can, even though it is making things hard for me.

October 18th, Saturday 

It is 3:45, I cannot sleep now. I dreamt of it again, but this time it was worse than usual. Most times I wake up, sort of early into the scene inside the car, but tonight I could not. It was as if the nightmare held me prisoner, and did not allow me to wake up and escape until it had finished with me.

My Father is half way through the windscreen and is not moving. The car on its side and pointing sort of upwards against the steep bank at the road side, and has crushed his upper body. I am trapped in the back of the car, the seats have moved back and I am held in place, my leg is broken. There is a lot of noise, engine noise, the truck is hard against the car and it's engine is still running, I can smell it, taste it almost, that hot metal and diesel odor.

My Mothers head is turned back towards me, she is looking at me, she cannot talk, but she is blinking, slowly. The dash board is against her and the steering column has impaled her, it is sticking out through the back of her seat. she blinks and tries to say something to me but only blood comes out. It falls on me and I am covered in it, I think I am screaming and soon I cannot see anymore, my eyes are full of her blood, it is on my face and in my mouth too.

I wish I could stop dreaming of this.

October 21st, Monday 

Today I got a letter from my regional manager. In it she states concerns about my work, that my reports and bag counts are being investigated.

I am very confused about this, because I am careful in my work and take it very seriously. I do not do what some officers do and make a best guess estimate. I know my work is good.

So, at lunch time I went out to Beisfjord. I feel like this is the only place I can feel at peace now, because of what is happening at work and because home life is not good either. We are arguing a lot, and I do not know why. I hate arguing and try to make things ok but, my husband is unhappy and will not listen to me.

I went to the edge of the water and waited a while, it wasn't long before I heard it. For a while it was as if I were asleep, without nightmares, and I wanted to go out into the water to meet it, or something, it is hard to explain. 

I felt much better afterwards, and had an idea about work, so, I will do some investigations of my own tomorrow, and see what I can find.

October 28th, Wednesday 

I now have no doubt in my mind, that my work has been altered before being logged. I always keep my own records and drafts. They do not tally with what the regional office has received. Mistakes are made, of course, but not on this scale. If this situation is allowed to stand, I may be fired, on suspicion of altering records to favour or benefit commercial interests.

I think I have enough of my own data to counter the investigation, in fact I am sure of it. But I do not want to do this until I find out why this has happened, and who could have done it.

I have also realised, that I do not have nightmares for at least a week, after I have visited Beisfjord.

This is also something I must also investigate.

Novermber 11th, Monday 

It has been 2 weeks since I wrote here. Strange things have happened, maybe I should not write them down. But keeping this diary has been good for me, and helps me think about things more clearly.

I spoke to my husband about the difficulty I have been going through at work. I was surprised when he was not supportive. We began arguing again, but before it got very bad I left the house.

Of course, I drove to Beisfjord. It was night time but there was still a lot of light, sometimes it does not get truly dark here at night.

I parked the car and got out, and began to hear the song as I walked from the woods to the shore. By the time I was at the water it was loud, in my ears at least, louder and nicer than ever before. I did not pause to stop and walked into the sea.

The water was soon up over my waist, but then I could not go any further because of a thick tangle of kelp. It must have been cold, but I did not feel it.
I paused there, not knowing what to do next, and then she came to me. 

She was terrible and beautiful. Her skin was the colour of that of a drowned corpse, a leeched and pickled white. Her eyes were a solid black, no pupil or iris to be seen, reflecting the pale light like fresh pitch. Thin grey lips stretched across a mouth too wide, she smiled at me, and it seemed her maw was packed with needle like teeth, all askew much like one of those creatures that live down in the far depths. She rose higher from the water, the seaweed clinging to her, and stretched out her arms to embrace me. I could see through her awful features to a beauty beneath, something ancient, an undying lust and hunger, an overwhelming loneliness. Her mouth opened, wide, almost unhinging her jaw it seemed, as she embraced me and leaned to what I knew would be a first and final kiss. I closed my eyes, I welcomed it.

But she stopped, and when I opened my eyes again she was looking into them, I could feel her pushing into my mind, ransacking it somehow. A cold black tongue slid from her still open mouth and touched against my face, tasting, touching my eyes, my forehead, lapping against my skin, tasting something, relishing it but...the song changed and now became wistful, but...just as enticing. I felt her release me but I stayed her hands, and for a long minute I saw what I could only think of as surprise and some delight in her savage eyes.

When I came to my senses I was back ashore. I do not remember returning. I began to feel terribly cold almost immediately, and the song was getting fainter all the while. I stayed there long enough to hear it fade completely, before turning and making my way back to where I had parked the car.

I sat inside and begun to shiver violently, barely able to turn the key and start the engine, I had to wait until the heater warmed me enough so that I could drive safely.

November 19th, Tuesday

I have not been out to the sea for a week, but, when I sleep, I fall asleep to the sound of her singing.

And I have not had my nightmare since.

November 21st, Thursday

I had lunch today with Elisabeth, and I'm glad I did. It felt so good to have someone I can talk to about my work problems. I did not go through every detail but just told her I had been questioned over the last count on the Lakselv . I wanted to know if she had kept any paperwork or notes, but she did not.

She was getting cross with herself, because this would have helped me. But I told her it was ok, that I had my own notes at home and that they would be enough.

I have already been through the issue with my direct manager, and showed him all my notes and back-up data. He agreed with me and is in contact with the regional office, to clear things up. It is a huge relief for me. I feel better than I have for a long time, at work at least.

Things are still bad at home, I am trying my best, but nothing seems to work, I don't know what to do. It's as if he cannot stand to be around me anymore, it breaks my heart because I still love him so much.

November 24th, Sunday 

Last night, I was feeling restless and could not sleep. I got up and went to the spare room I use as an office sometimes. I knew straight away that someone had been in there, things were not as I had left them. Sitting at my desk I looked at the paper tray I use. My details of the last count were uppermost and I did not leave them in that order.

I sat there for some time, looking at the pieces of paper I had taken from the tray, and had in my hand. I could see where the staple in the corner had been removed, and reapplied. I could see that the papers had not been laid evenly along both sides and where a few were sticking out a little, something I hate, even though I know it is not important.

And I thought for a long time about what it meant, and I could not help but weep.

November 25th, Monday 

I sat by the waters edge today, and turned everything over in my mind again and again. Her song flowed 'round me all the while.

After a while it was as if it was talking to me, and when I listened properly, she told me what I might do, if I wanted to.

November 26th, Tuesday 

Today I told Elisabeth that I had come close to finding out what had happened with my reports and would soon know how it had happened.

She wanted to know straight away but I did not tell her.

Instead I said that I had somewhere to visit, and what I would find there would provide the last piece of this strange puzzle.

After work, I got into my car and drove as if for home, but after a kilometer I turned and drove out towards Beisfjord.

When I got there, I parked my car and got out, and went into the trees a little distance, and waited.

Within a few minutes, Elisabeth's car pulled up alongside mine. When she got out, I let her look around for a few seconds before emerging and calling to her.

She was a little surprised I think but she didn't say so. Instead she said she was worried about me, that she had followed me
and wanted to help if she could.

I told her if she really wanted to help, she should come with me, and I turned away and walked back into the trees, towards the sea.

I knew she would follow.

I walked past the little cove shore, and out along the headland, where the hillside sloped down into the water, shedding its covering of grass and earth, becoming a rough jumble of naked rock. The water is very deep there.

Standing on the rock, I turned to see Elisabeth making her way carefully towards me. I waited until she was close enough for me to reach out and take her hand, and told her to be quiet if should could, and to listen.

Elisabeth's look of confusion began to change almost instantly...I knew she could hear it, even though, this time, I could not.

She began to speak but I gestured for her to remain silent, and Elisabeth's frown then eased, and she took on the look of someone daydreaming, eyes unfocused and far away.

She turned towards the water, leaning out, as if trying to get closer to the source of the song in her ears. When I pushed her, she did not make any attempt to stay herself, hitting the cold grey green surface headfirst. It was only then she came out of her trance like state, gasping and beginning to flail her arms. But by then, it was too late.

Pale arms slid from the water and clasped Elisabeth tightly, pinioning her arms in place. Her eyes were so wide, and her screaming so loud, as she realised that something had come from the water and had taken hold of her. She looked at me as she screamed but then turned her head to stare into those black eyes, and see the jagged smile, a horribly willing welcome.

Elisabeth's screams ceased as the mermaid kissed her, her eyes now on me again, full of begging, terror and seawater, blood erupting suddenly, startling in colour, so rich and red against the grey green, and then she was gone, dragged below to some never seen depths. A slick of crimson floated on the water for a moment, before being swept away.

December 16th, Monday

The investigation into my reporting has ended, and I have received an apology from my regional manager. The only thing that is making this not such a happy event is Elisabeth's disappearance. I have been questioned by the police, as a matter of course, and so have all that were in her immediate work group. They have no leads at this time.

But work is better now than than it has been for a long time.

My husband fell ill for a while, and is very slow to recover, staying in bed a lot and being generally miserable about the house.

I find him looking at me sometimes, in a strange way, but I don't mind, I always smile back to let him know everything is alright.

But I hope he gets better soon. It is getting a bit tiresome having him mope around all the time.

Who knows, maybe some music might cheer him up?